Archive | April, 2012

Is being Gay a choice or not?

21 Apr

Jaime’s Scott, age 28, is a very attractive young man. ‘What a waste’ most woman would say, because unfortunately for them, Jaime’s is gay. Not everyone understands homosexuality, but it is becoming more accepted, and more people are becoming open about their own sexuality. Its existence is evolving into a form of entertainment, and now very much commercialised. So are children now growing up with the choice ‘am I gay, or am I straight?’

 

When did you realise you were gay?

It wasn’t until I was 14 that my hormones started to kick in, and I developed a crush on my stepbrother’s friend. Until then I didn’t have sexual feelings for either sex.

 

How did you cope with these feelings?

I was embarrassed, and didn’t want anyone to know. I didn’t think it was fair, and I thought ‘why me?’ I went into self-denial, so attempted to date girls. I was unsure if my feelings were normal, and if they were a natural part of growing up. Because I had no male influence to guide me and to explain what was normal and what was not.

 

How did you feel when you were dating females?

Women are beautiful, but I have never found them sexually attractive. I had one girlfriend for two years, but I gained no enjoyment through sex. I finished it after two years because I felt guilty for leading her on.

 

If you didn’t find her sexually attractive, then why did you stay with her for two years?

At the age of 14-16 it was all about having a girlfriend and losing your virginity. No one seemed to enjoy sex that much anyway. We had an amazing friendship, so at first it felt like the right thing to do.

 

Do you think experiences from your child hood may have influenced your sexuality?

Not having a dad around, but people should not need an excuse for being gay. People don’t ask a straight person why they are straight. I believe homosexuality is in my genes. I have two uncles, and a cousin who are all gay, all on my father’s side who I never see.

 

It was 7 years ago you moved to London, and found bar work in a gay club, that must have been some experience. What have you learnt?

It gave me so much confidence with men and how to handle certain situations. I met loads of people that I would never have met in my home town. I had a place in London, but in my home town of Dover I felt isolated. In London, I loved my job and my social life, as I met all sorts of people, you wouldn’t believe! It was like a different world. The people I worked with could be really bitchy, and it was a dog eat dog world. I had to be top dog; otherwise people would take my tips and shifts.

 

What was your worst experience during this time?

Some of the bosses would try and sleep with you if you were a really good looking lad. My boss got obsessed with me, and if I spoke to another lad or received any attention, he would throw a lump of ice at my head. I let him get away with it once, but the second time, I threw a pint of beer all over him, and I got the sack the next day.

 

What was your best experience?

I got a lot of attention from customers, so after work, I would spend the rest of the evenings gay clubbing in Fire or Heaven. These clubs were fuelled by cocaine, MDMA, sex and hard core drum and base. One night in Fire I met this hot Spanish bloke, from Barcelona. He was only in London a few days, so I spent all night with him in the club regardless of the language barrier. Our bodies were doing all the talking. I just regret not meeting him the next day, as I never see him again.

 

How would you handle these attentive customers?

I loved the attention. I could handle the banter, but some guys I worked with would take it personal, and tell the customers to fuck off. ‘If you can’t handle the heat, get out of the kitchen bitch!’

 

Do you have a message to the gay community?

 If you can’t handle the pain, don’t be in the game.

 

 Sarah Hair